Worst. Experience. Ever.

My ex was after a fat chick and I was still in love with him. he was my world. I had no one else.
for some reason everything fell around me, I had no hope then.
It's no big deal looking back, but my mind was seriously fucked up.

I stood in the middle of the room screaming and crying, begging god to do something.
My mum phoned the hospital, they refused to do anything if I wasn't trying to hurt or kill myself..I was in too much of a state.
I went to therapy (I was already having it prior to the situation) my therapist made me call him, I just broke into tears. this went on and on.
eventually he said we had some hope, i tried so hard for him, but cried when he said he wasnt ready. we had sex a lot but no relationship.
then when i asked him round for new year...he said he was with a friend. she was 15 and from the other side of the country. he was 22.

turns out he had been planning it for weeks, using me, lied about everything. then lied to her too. we started talking, he used to make fun of me in front of my friends and people i knew, to everyone he called me names and said he hated me.

my heart was so broken i dont know if it will be the same again. so much trust to be fucked up by some paedo.
after that i was used by every guy i fell for because i wasnt good enough.

he basically ruined my life :) i have someone else now, but i'm not the same as i was.